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Archive Thirty-Four

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me ...

As we get material together for the upcoming Film Festival, I just had to reflect on what I've learned shooting this film.  Not an easy task, but several people have asked me and I've yet to answer succinctly.  I will make a brief attempt here.  Yes yes, I imagine I could go on about this a long time and come up with lots of tales, lessons and anecdotes, but I really need to simplify.  I mean c'mon, in all reality I could probably write a book about this whole process.  And maybe later, I'll do exactly that ...

I can probably narrow down almost all of this into three main points:

     1) Arm Proper -- When you shoot a film, you go to war.  Every day there are battles to fight.  You won't win them all, but each day you can position yourself strategically for the next day and the next set of battles.  The idea is to win the the bigger picture, to win the war.  Now some may think this is a militaristic view of the process, but many of the battles I'm talking about happen inside you.  Obviously, you can't be fighting with people all the time, but you will be required to make lots of decisions every day and there will be resistance.  You have to tough it out and stick to your guns.  The spirit of the warrior way is very appropriate here.  No one is going to give you your film, or allow you to make it.  You must fight for it, for it's creation and for it's very survival.  Day in and day out, no matter what.  You cannot give up! ...

     2) Humble Pie -- Big egos don't fly, but strong ones are paramount to survive the marathon.  This is a hard lesson for some to accept.  This industry breeds XXL egos by its very nature.  Accept that, but try to stay clear of them.  Their insecurity can disrupt the best of projects.  Usually these people have not learned their lesson here, but I do have faith that somewhere down the path they will learn.  Big egos are hard to work with, as they tend to get in the way of true collaboration.  I've never worked well with these, but let's not dwell on that now.  You will however need a very strong ego, which understands that working with other strong egos is a luxury you should afford yourself.  Because these collaborators are ones you can count on down the home stretch, when all the others have flaked out, whining about the size of their trailers or that special equipment they have to have to be creative.  Making a film is the most humbling experience I've ever had.  And how refreshing! ...

     3) Mental Flex -- Allow your vision to expand and sprout wings.  This is a no-brainer.  Now matter how complete you believe your vision to be at the beginning, there is no way you can predict how all the details and pieces will come together in the end.  You must be flexible all the way through, and be open to all the surprises that can enhance the vision, making it richer, more vibrant and more alive.  Beyond what you ever imagined.  So, please don't handcuff yourself, or paint yourself into any corner.  Move with it, because this is where the passion for your project lives, grows and soars, and in the end will change you.  There just aren't words to describe it! ...

On the surface it may appear that these things contradict each other, but actually they complement quite well.  For a filmmaker is the ultimate multi-tasker, balancing lots of opposing forces constantly at work around him/her.  Just remember to try and enjoy the process.  I have to remind myself of that every day ...

Jerry

I thoroughly enjoyed it all ...

I couldn't have planned it better.  And in fact, I felt so relieved that we had the panel we had.  They really put the icing on the cake.  So, what am I talking about here?  Well of course, the seminar I did at the Mt. Shasta Film Festival.  You can read about it here, "Area gets high praise during film weekend".  Erin Gray and Tim O'Connor were there, as were Renee Prince, our Production Designer, and Bob Gordon, our editor.  And, it was certainly nice to see everyone here again ...

"Dreams Awake" actors Tim O’Connor and Erin Gray during Sunday’s filmmaking seminar
 at College of the Siskiyous in Weed.

And also, if you haven't seen this, "Go behind the scenes of ‘Dreams Awake’", then check it out.

A scene from “Dreams Awake,” which was filmed in and around Mount Shasta.

I had lots of fun at the seminar, as did everyone else (I think).  Also, we taped the whole thing, so eventually we'll have excerpts on our web site.  In addition, we did a small screening of the film for just the few of us.  And we got some very positive feedback and suggestions to make it even better.  We're getting there! ...

Jerry

Yep, it's that time again ...

Well, Bob and I have been working furiously lately, and are getting pretty close to a picture lock.  But the weather's cooling down up here and it's time to set up final operations down in the southland.  At this point it looks like the film is around 106 minutes, and I doubt it will end up at less than 100 minutes ... 

Bob and yours truly tweaking a scene

Anyway, I'm breaking down our post suite and hauling everything down south to re-setup.  And then on to the finer finishing.  We of course have sound work to do, as well as a film score and some of the visual effects to incorporate.  I'm estimating we should be done by the end of the year.  So we're gearing up for that final home stretch ...

But I have to be honest with you.  I am totally exhausted.  The only other time I've been this beat is after production.  I've also been physically sick and suspect my immune system has been compromised and is overly stressed.  So, I'm finally declaring a few days off for myself before I get back into all the fray ...

But in the meantime, I'm taking a closer look at the film festivals out there and need to start devising a strategy.  A lot of deadlines are coming up at the end of this year and the beginning of next.  So, I'll need to jump on that ASAP ....

Jerry

Do we do harm or not? ...

Having taking a few days off to get refreshed and recharged, when I wasn't fighting this damn lingering sickness, I've had a little time to reflect lately.  Kind of nice for a change, freeing me up to take in some of the current content I haven't been paying much attention to.  Reading a bit, watching a little TV, taking in a few films.  Oh, I guess there was a World Series I missed, and I think we had a major election, as well as a few others, and it seems there's a world economy taking a spin.  Boy, the things that can happen when you're not paying attention.  The nerve of that, the world moving on without me when I'm not looking.  No such self importance, huh? ...

As I took all this in, I also got some new mental juices flowing again.  And when that happens, the questions all start pouring out again.  Usually ones I just ask myself, sometimes over and over, wondering who's ever going to answer me.  'Cause I'm not sure I can answer myself.  Anyway, just have to ask.  Why do we create?  Really, why?  Why do we put ourselves through all this?  Why films?  They are such damn hard work.  Can't we just sit and watch the grass grow, and forget about how much greener it is on the other side of that white picket fence?  And who do we create for?  Ourselves?  Our world?  Our friends and family?  What do we owe to those who we create for?  Anything at all?  Any words of wisdom out there? ...

Ah, well.  Maybe, just maybe I should take a crack or two at all that.  Don't we create, because we can?  We can leave a piece of ourselves behind, a piece left for the world, to remind it we were here.  How egotistical.  Who made us think we were so special?  But, aren't we?  Aahh, this is all too pat, too easy, so predicable.  I personally think it's all just a test.  I think there are creative forces in the universe that allow us to run simulations, just to see what we would do if we could really create.  By really create, I mean worlds, and stars and universes.  Crazy?  Maybe.  Gods in training?  Possibly?  Put on the those training wheels and see what us mere mortals can do.  Maybe allow us into their pantheon.  Grandiose?  Delusions of grandeur?  Hhhmm, not hardly.  And I'll tell you why.  And no, don't order those strait jackets just yet.  And why not?  'Cause ...

'Cause, it could be the old R & R rule.  No, not rest and relaxation.  Far from it.  So very far.  The balance and the weight, how rights and responsibilities work in the world.  Or at least should, in the very real world.  I feel very strongly that those who create, and I think we all do in some way in our lives, all have a responsibility to our creations and what affect they can have in our world.  Say what?  You read me right.  We need to own up to it.  There is so much content out there that seems so negative, and that can have a negative effect on us all.  No, I'm not moralizing.  I'm speaking very practically.  And no, censorship really isn't ever an answer here, but ...

But I do firmly believe that we reap what we sow.  And if we focus so much on the negative things in the world, then that's all we get, all we eventually deserve, all we eventually know or care about.  When I evaluate what film has been created the last two or three decades, it just seems so much darker than ever before.  Does that reflect our changing world, or a desire to delve much deeper into the darker bowels of ourselves?  Those who argue that it only reflects where our world has gone may be only partially right.  These arguments could also just be self-fulfilling prophecies, helping create the path we take.  And if that could be so, then we have a very obvious responsibility to ourselves and our world, because we could be shaping the direction it takes.  On the other hand, hopefully pop culture never truly directs where we go at such a whim.  Many times those who argue that we should never dictate artistic freedom and who usually stand behind the first amendment are  usually the corporate suits just hiding behind that amendment, because in actuality it's their hidden amendment to their right to make profits that they are exercising.  The first amendment is just a handy gadget to grab with one hand while they grab your wallet with the next.

I think they should have called 'The Bill of Rights', 'The Bill of Rights and Responsibilities'.  I have a feeling that was the intent, but then they were expecting an enlightened populace to understand what they were trying to do.   Hhmmm, anyone think that's what we have now?  As responsible creators, we could create one, if we really wanted to.  It only takes our imagination.  And if we exercise it responsibly, maybe, just maybe, the powers that be may let us create something really important, something really awesome, something we can't even imagine yet ...

Jerry

Oy Vey, Oh My ...

The other day I saw the film, "What Just Happened".  It certainly had some entertaining moments, and there certainly were a few things I could relate to, but it didn't quite do it for me.  However, I have to say, it's always a trip to watch the struggles of filmmakers actually be the subject of films.  Of course, I'll bet the general public probably doesn't necessarily agree with me, as they may seem a bit too insider for them.  Although on second thought, I could be wrong seeing the odd success of the series "Entourage", which actually is a show I've not really been able to get into ...

But since I'm on the subject, I thought I'd throw out a few of the other films you can check out, if you haven't already.  To me one of the best is Altman's "The Player".  If you haven't seen this one you really must.  It is the ultimate insider film, totally from a studio production point of view.  Having worked for a major film studio, I can tell you some of the scenes seemed right on.  Plus, having myself pitched film projects for a number of film companies on the studio lots, I could totally relate.  Having experienced some of the knucklehead moments at pitch meetings (and I don't just mean by me) is priceless ...

Another one that's great, one that I get almost continuous belly laughs from is "Living in Oblivion".  If you have any plans to shoot a low budget Indie, you have to see this.  And even if you just want some great laughs while also understanding the craziness of Indie film, this a must-see.  Several of us actually watched this before we shot our film.  Afterwards, we each shot each other knowing glances.  No way would we make any of the mistakes they made.  Right, best laid plans.  And then after we shot our film, some of us watched it again.  It was even more funny, because we'd just been through it all ...

Anyway, I'll throw out a few others, each which have some redeeming value, although none as good as those mentioned above.  From the crowd that brought you "Waiting for Guffman" and "A Mighty Wind, also did "For Your Consideration".  It had its moments, but doesn't totally deliver.  Another two to consider are "Hollywood North" and "And God Spoke".  They're all good for a few laughs, and you'll probably also learn a few truths about the nutty world of filmmaking ...

On another front, we actually do have some news to report about our little  project.  Those of you who've been following this blog since near the beginning know that I have been looking for a composer for a very long time, knowing how important the music was going to be.  Well, we've finally found that guy, Geoff Levin. For those interested, you can also check out his website.  Also, they'll be a couple of nice tunes played in the film that were composed by Chad Rehmann ...

And I also forgot to mention that we have a highly recommended, great visual effects guy hard at work, that being Jeff Varga, who's been trying very hard to work under our low budget constraints.  So far, so good ...

Jerry

Another paradox in the mix ...

Well, it appears the technical gremlins have reincarnated, as they have reappeared with quite a vengeance.  Hard drives, cell phones and networks crashing in multiples over a period of less than a week.  Not too much fun not having a cell phone or computer that works. And pretty hard getting any work done at all.  Say what?  Now that's enough to make anyone crumpy.  Even someone who's usually as happy-go-lucky as me.  And just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday.  Such a paradox ...

My main worry is that we've lost some media that may not be retrievable.  Media that is part of our last cut.  That certainly will not make me a happy camper.  Doesn't it seem like, that sometimes the techno-gods conspire to work against you, especially when you're tired and overworked, and getting close to wrapping it all up?  Just when you feel ready to make that last plunge and come out of the fire with something you can be proud of?  Ah well, oh hell, I will just continue to forge forward and hope that it all turns out okay ...

Oddly, it being a day of thanks yesterday, I did reflect on what I am thankful for.  And yes, there is a quite lot there.  Not too many people get to be in my situation, and are able to play with the creative forces and juices I have before me.  And not everyone has had the people I've felt privileged to work (play?) with.  So, whatever happens in the end with all this, I do feel lucky and very thankful for what has happened up to this point ...

But then again, I'm never giving up!  Moving forward!  Thank you very much!! ...

Jerry

One of a kind, in his own way ...

Yesterday I took a little side trip over to the Santa Paula airport, which is only a few miles from Ventura, to a book signing hosted by Barbara McQueen, Steve's widow.  The book, "Steve McQueen: The Last Mile", co-authored by her, is a very fancy photo book of their short life together.  This airport is where he discovered flying, his last passion, and where he learned it with his new wife Barbara, back in the late 70's.  A lot of people were there, and I got to meet her, as well as a few of those who knew him.  The event was mainly a fundraiser for the airport and its new museum.  So, also on display were some of McQueen's 'toys', motorcycles and planes he had owned.  Anyway, if you're interested, check the website out for more info ...

What does this have to do with the film, or me?  Thought you'd never ask.  Actually not a whole lot, directly speaking.  But indirectly, well maybe, for a couple basic reasons ...

First, the film reason, and then the flying one.  In the 60's there were two films that had a certain unique type of influence on me, The Hustler, with Paul Newman, and The Cincinnati Kid, with Steve McQueen.  As an impressionable kid, I of course naively believed films had happy endings and the hero, good guy, the main character, always won out.  Ha, was I crushed when I learned that was not so.  These two films shattered that myth, and began my search for more complex, nuanced messages in movie themes and my education into the film world, and in the end started my serious interest in becoming a filmmaker myself.  Or maybe more appropriately, a storyteller who muses and uses film to spin a yarn ...

The second reason.  Back in those same late 70's the McQueen's were learning to fly, I was still trying to 'find' myself and wondering what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Lo and behold, I was seriously considering being a pilot myself.  Of course, being a filmmaker was definitely on my radar.  So I came to a juncture in my life about then, and realized I had to make a decision.  My first choice had actually been to be a pilot.  In fact, I started pilot training at a very prestigious aviation school in the Midwest in 1977.  But then unexpectedly, the government, because of certain economic conditions of the time, ended student loan programs for certain types of specialty schools, of which the aviation school I was attending came under.  I had passed my ground school and had my beginner's license, with only about fifteen hours of actual flight time when that happened.  Since I was dependent upon loans to finish, I had to drop out.  So ended my budding flight career, and so began my film one.  Of course, I couldn't afford film school, so I had to learn 'in the field' so to speak.  Anyway, if not for that little twist, I might have been a pilot instead of a filmmaker ...

And now, years later, I'm once again considering getting my pilot's license.  Certainly not as another career, but for an enjoying and exciting pass time.  I've thought about doing that for years now, but maybe once this film is done and out into the world I can finally take it up again, more than thirty years later.  Which is one of the reasons I found myself at the Santa Paula airport this weekend, a quaint little place I've hung around before.  And boy, seeing all those planes lined up facing the tarmac at sunset, it made my heart soar ...

Which is how I found myself back out there today.  On the second day of this book signing, a number of the local pilots had their hangars open to the public.  So I walked around and took it all in.  There's something about walking around an old small airport like this.  Sounds, smells, sights, all coalescing into flight above the earth and ascending into some unknown adventure out there above it all.  You, in total control of that air machine, in three dimensional space, in total control of your destiny.  That freedom, that uncertainty.  There's nothing like it.  Yes, I'd like to get back to that ...

Jerry

Another round of trimming and becoming ...

Looks like Bob (our editor) and I will be getting together later this week to move towards a final cut.  After putting the film aside for several weeks so I could get a fresh look at it, I finally viewed it a couple times this past week.  And yes, I scribbled several pages of notes where we can nip and tuck a few scenes here and there.  And possibly even cut a couple more completely out.  Sheesh, it's never really easy, is it? ...

A few of you emailed recently concerning my Nov. 28 entry, offering sympathy and solutions to the possibility that I'd lost some unretrievable media necessary to the film.  I appreciate your concern, but luckily we didn't lose anything.  Whew.  Two of our external drives quit being recognized by the computer in the same week, but for different reasons.  One of the drives had some supplementary media that we were using in the edit, and the other one had all of our full-res media that we had for the visual effects.  The first drive just had an internal broken connection that didn't allow the power to kick start the drive.  But the media was all there and perfectly fine.  The second drive was perfectly fine, but the power chord wasn't working.  The drive was registering that it had power, but it was arcing and once again (oddly) there wasn't enough power to get the drive spinning.  Hhhmm, oh well, all is well again, and we'll be back at it in a day or two ...

I had hoped that by the year end we would have a picture lock, and could finally get started on all the sound and music work, and of course get to that the final mix soon.  Best laid plans and all that.  So now, it looks like Jan. and Feb. we'll do all that work and maybe actually have a film by Mar 1 (15th maybe?) ...

 Jerry

Subtract means add, and taking away gives us the film ...

Wow, what a week last week.  Bob and I worked hard bringing this project closer home.  I had four pages of notes totaling eighty-six different things I wanted to look at, edit or cut.  We resolved a little over half of them without doing a thing, but we took some kind of action on the others.  In addition, Bob had about a dozen things he felt we needed to resolve one way or another.  It really did help having some time away from that last edit, giving us a much fresher, more objective look ...

And I have to say, the film is really looking good.  It's finally looking closer to what I had originally envisioned.  But boy, have I had to fight for it.  Even with those who have supported it along the way at various intervals, as well as those involved very early on.  What a lesson, stick to your guns and don't shoot blanks ...

But I have to say, that for a while now it did feel like there was something missing, like something wasn't gelling, like there was some magic that just wasn't there.  And yes, in this last trim we learned what it was.  It wasn't that it was missing something, it was that we couldn't see the forest for the trees.  It was hiding in there all along, but it took the mentality of a sculptor to bring it up to form.  We just hadn't chiseled enough away to see that it was there.  Now with just a few more rubs of the sand paper, and we'll be there ...

And to help that happen, we've decided to do a small screening early next month (once all of the holidays have settled down), probably for about 20 to 25 people in an intimate setting.  Hopefully we'll get a good mix of people with some great comments.  We'll compile all that, see what's useful and lock it down ...

Jerry

The old year peels away, framing a brand new one just over the horizon ...

I know in the last entry I mentioned that we were going to do a small test screening soon, but now, well I'm reconsidering that decision.  Why?  To tell you the whole truth, I'm not entirely sure.  But to partially spill it, something just doesn't feel quite right.  Either it isn't ready for a screening, or maybe, maybe it doesn't need one?  Hhhhmmm, say, what?  I know, that doesn't quite make sense, does it? ...

Puh-leeze, Jerry ol' boy, now isn't a time to flake out on it all.  Believe it or not, I don't usually talk to myself, or even more strangely address myself in my writings.  Sheesh, something must be going on.  Uuhh, huh.  Oh yeah, it's the very last day of the year, and I've finally come to the realization that this coming year an audience will actually see this film, this child of mine.  It will be trotted out into this wide, unforgiving world, and try to make a true stand on its very own.  Oh my, and I'll have to finally take it like a man ...

It's one thing to collaborate with others in a work of creation, many times disagreeing during the process, all the time all sides feeling they are right in how the work should be presented (in theory) to an audience, but...  But now, the proof is around the corner, glaringly, maybe even self-consciously?  Is that what's bugging me?  At first glance, it might appear so.  But no, in actuality I think that may only be a minor factor.  One I believe easily dispensed with.  I really am not seriously concerned with it's acceptance.  On one level, it is certainly a consideration, but I think the people who enjoy it and get something out of it were the ones who are supposed to.  The others?  Well, actually in the final analysis, I'm truly not going to concern myself with it.  So subjective is experiencing a film that, well hell, oh well.  It's certainly nothing to get too torqued out about at this point.  Maybe at my most insecure moment it might hit me, but I think those have pretty much passed ...

No, I think there's something else working at the heart of these feelings.  It seems I've been nearing the end of this project for a while and a part of me is ready to unattach myself from it.  And with the new year upon us, and finally with an end to the film in sight, I'm feeling the need to move on and for the film to take its place in the new world.  And it seems going into a screening at this point is prolonging that process even more.  On top of that, I know this film very well, what it needs and what its shortcomings are.  I would be willing to bet that I can pinpoint what most of the comments that come out of a screening will be.  Will I guess them all?  I doubt it.  But is that important?  Anyway, I do think we are close to getting it as good as we can possibly get it.  It seems there could be diminishing returns on the horizon I proceed with this exercise.  But then again , maybe I should do it for the experience?  Tell you what, how about all of you out there email me and tell me what you think.  Love to hear from ya' next year.  OK?  I'll be waiting ...

Jerry

Dreams Awake
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