A diary of my
arduous process to develop, finance,
produce and distribute a totally independent, digital, feature film (DREAMS
AWAKE). Come along for the
ride, comment if you like, and maybe we’ll learn something, and of course have a little fun.
Originally I gave myself from March 15, 2005 to September 15, 2006 to turn
my dream and vision into reality, with only my imagination to
guide me. Since we all know film development can be
unpredictable and full of unanticipated obstacles, a self-imposed
deadline should not jeopardize the project's quality. My new
timeline was more flexible and production finally commenced
in July, 2007 when the script was where it needed to be in order to tell an
engaging and original story. Check in
regularly for the ongoing progress. We wrapped in September 2007, and
in early 2010
finished up from a prolonged post-production period. We are
looking forward to a fall 2010 release ... Jerry Alden Deal
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April 28, 2010 -
Legacies
Passing through the sands of time, testing the fortunes of
relevancy ...
This
Sunday we went to the TCM Film Festival in Hollywood and got to
see 'Some Like It Hot' on the big screen at the Egyptian
Theater. What a treat that really was. But the icing
on the cake was the appearance by Tony Curtis, who is now in his
mid-80's. Before the screening he told the audience several
funny stories about the making of the film. And boy does
that film still hold up. He stayed and watched the film with
the rest of us, actually sitting not too far from us. We
glanced over a few times to see him laughing his head off, still
amused by what he and his fellow crafts people had created more
about 50 years ago. When the film was over he stood to a
standing ovation, and you could barely make out his final words
before his exit. But he sadly quipped "I'm the only one
still left." Very poignant, but I'm sure this film's legacy
will remain quite intact ...
That got
me to wondering about what, if any, kind of legacy our little film
could have. Of course, my very next thought was, what a
silly thought. At the very least, I would like to think a few people
enjoyed it and got something out of it. But
at this point that's way too premature to get all worked up about.
Yet, we can always hope, right? ...
(Debbie, Eric &
Michael)
Today also
is a very poignant personal reminder for me. Exactly ten
years ago today, Debra Lynn Deal, my wife of seventeen years
passed away after a four-year battle with cancer. She left
behind two sons, Michael and Eric, who were 16 and 12 when she
passed, and who have now grown into adulthood. All the years
I struggled as a screenwriter trying to make it in that world, she
was an undying supporter for all that I was trying to do.
She sacrificed for me during those hard years and I know she would
have been very proud of the film we have created and which she
will never get to see (but maybe she'll peek in from the other
side). Also, both my sons had a hand in the film; Eric
worked on the production and Michael advised me on the effects
shots. And so, I've decided to dedicate the film to her, not
just because of her unwavering support over the years, but also
because of the thematic content of the film. Once you've
seen it, you'll understand. I guess in a way that will be a
part of the Dreams Awake legacy ...
Jerry
April 17, 2010 -
The Release
So,
when is the film coming out? ...
That is
the most common, most regular question that gets thrown my way
nowadays. In fact, many times it's how the conversation
starts when I first see someone, or when someone emails me, or
Facebook's me, or tweets, or whatever other new-techie verb that
we can throw out these days. Now, it's quite obvious that
getting this film out has taken longer than I certainly ever
envisioned. And you could maybe make the case that it should
not have taken this long. But, based on what? Other
films? Well, here's a news flash. Every film is
different, especially in the indie world. Would I have
preferred it be ready sooner? You betcha. But am I
concerned, or worried because it hasn't? No way. Our
little film will find it's way into the world however it sees fit.
And you know what, I'm perfectly happy with that. I think
when the time is right, it will appear for everyone who wants it.
OK? ...
But,
here's a couple more morsels to chew on, because I know some of
you are ready to see it. And believe me, we're very happy
about that. I feel really humbled that someone would want to
see something we created. And no matter how they feel
afterwards; loving it, liking it, hating it, indifferent to it.
Not a problem at all. All of us filmmakers, all of us
creative people, all get that part of it. It comes with that
territory. Would I like it if everyone just loved it to
death (well, not to death, but to life maybe?). Absolutely.
That would tickle us all, but highly unlikely. Not that we
don't think it's a good film, but it will not be everyone's cup of
tea. Plus, in a way we're all critics of some sort, right?
Maybe not harsh ones, but quiet ones within the whispers of our
own minds. Which brings me to closer to the thematic content
of the film itself ...
New
consciousness, alternative spirituality, metaphysical thought, new
age mysticism, spiritual cinema. All of these terms have
been thrown about to describe what out film encompasses. But
for me, all that does is pigeonhole it into too narrow and
specific of a category. Which may be okay for the marketing
geeks, but us filmmakers like to deal with the more endearing
commonality of human endeavor and experience. Do we push
that envelope of commonality into the spiritual realms? Of
course we do. We can all wish and hope for better things,
right? But essentially, "Dreams Awake" is about a
transformative journey, a way to find inner courage and deal with
old emotional baggage. We may try to reach for the stars
within this story, but our feet start the journey from the ground.
So, maybe there is a reason the main character is named, Hope? ...
And yes,
the film will be released sometime this year. Stay tuned for
more details ... maybe when 'Hope' finally finds
its way ...
Jerry
April 6, 2010 - Transmedia Examples
Some
intriguing forays into the realm ...
I thought
I'd continue onward with the Transmedia theme I've been chiming
lately, and offer up a few examples of these types of movie campaigns:
2012 Institute
for Human Continuity -- An alternative reality world about
insuring the survival of the human race after the supposed 2012
catastrophe. Also,
Facebook Page,
Twitter &
YouTube Farewell Atlantis
-- A book written by main character Jackson Curtis (John Cusack),
used to underline part of philosophical theme of the film.
Also,
Facebook Page. This is the End --
Conspiracy guy Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) has a platform to
spout all his conspiracy theories. Also,
Facebook Page,
Twitter &
YouTube News Done Right
-- A news organization covering events leading up to the 2012
disaster.
These are
just a few examples of what can be done, and they keep piling up
as more filmmakers are becoming aware of the potentials out there
for their creative material. And I think we've just
touched the surface of what can be done (isn't that obvious?).
Very exciting stuff! ...
Jerry
March 25, 2010 -
Why Transmedia?
A new wave a blowing ...
First,
here's a short, hodge-podge clip of the Transmedia event I
attended at USC last week:
There was
a lot info thrown out at everyone from the four panels that took
place. I could offer a few words, but I think some others
have done the job quite well:
DIY Sucks Transmedia for indie filmmakers I:
Transmedia 101, ARGs and more
"Transmedia describes the way some fictional universes play out
over a wide range of stories (and games) in different media" ...
(for the rest go to
here)
Pandora's Box
Transmedia,
Hollywood: S/Telling the Story (Part One)
"Yesterday I attendedTransmedia,
Hollywood: S/Telling the Storyconference
organized by Henry Jenkins, who recently moved from the east coast
(MIT, Comparative Media Studies) to the west coast (USC, School of
Cinematic Arts) and Denise Mann who is currently at the School of
Theatre, Film, and Television in UCLA" ... (for the rest go
here --
also, there are four parts to
this)
Bloom's Day Who's
Going to Grump about Transmedia?
"Yes, it appears that pigs can take at least short domestic
flights, and Hell is facing some moderate climate change" ... (for
the rest go
here)
And along with that a
follow up article
from CNET. For more info search #TransH on twitter.
Now, the
big question coming out of all this for us is, 'why even bother with
all this transmedia stuff?' Indeed, indeed. That begs
the question ever farther, 'do we even have a transmeda property?'
It certainly would have been much easier if we had conceived it as
such when we developed it. But as I've said before, this
avenue wasn't really on our radar screen until after production.
It was only as we were forging through post that it gravitated our
attention span. And now it has our full attention, and we
intend to use it any way that works for this particular story.
Here is how transmedia can help us ...
1) Filling story holes. Our film very easily could
have been a novel. There is certainly plenty of material to
have expanded it into such. We cut a lot out of the film to
make it a film, instead of a 3-hour monstrosity. But now, we
can use other platforms to enhance and fill out our whole story
world. Thus making it 'more complete'.
2) Growing the story. And thus its world. By
adding elements mentioned above, we can also grow the story beyond
the original film. We can build the back-story and
post-story, not only for the main characters, but the minor ones.
As well, we can expand on ideas and concepts only mentioned in the
film, and take it as far as it can grow.
3) Prequels & Sequels. We originally conceived this film as
part of a trilogy, "The Awaken Trilogy", of which 'Dreams Awake'
was just the full installment. We can now develop the other
pieces of the trilogy on other platforms, either before we shoot
the other films, or just leave them on these different platforms.
4) Fan Engagement. Great opportunity for the fans to
carry the story forward and have a hand in how it all plays out.
In fact, their input could help in developing the stories for the
sequels and what platforms they live on. More power to the
audience.
5) Marketing Awareness. Having multiple entry points
into this story-world allows us build more of an awareness than we
would have been able to with another 'indie film' trying to find
it's way, and it's audience, in this cluttered world. We
will be searching for a more complete home for our audience to
find and interact with us.
These are
just some of the ways Transmedia, Cross Media, Multi-platform
Storytelling, or whatever you want to call it, can help "Dreams
Awake" take deep breaths and fully realize itself in whatever
worlds our audience lives and grows in. This year "Dreams
Awake" plans to shake off the dreams, fully wake up and begin to
live more completely in as many worlds as can handle it.
Should be fun and exciting! ...
Jerry
March 15, 2010 -
Yours Truly
Five years and counting ...
Today is
quite an anniversary for me, and our new film. Yup, it's been
five years ago today (wow, 2005!) that I started this little blog,
as we're on the final precipice before releasing "Dreams Awake".
I certainly never thought I'd be writing this blog for this long. Never,
ever...but here I am, still. So, I thought it appropriate
that I embed my two-part interview that was recently posted on Facebook ...
On another
front I'll be heading over to that
Transmedia Event at USC tomorrow. Should be fun and
enlightening. To underline all this Transmedia talk, here is
a thought-provoking blog entry that was posted today, right after
a Transmedia session at SWSX,
happening in Austin right now:
Room 5ABC, Austin Convention Center, Texas. A speaker passes a
plastic box to a lady in the front row.
She pries open the box. Inside is a rag that looks blood-stained,
spelling out a website address.
Audience members with laptops type the URL into their browsers. On
the site are clues that hint at a kidnapping and a phone number.
There is no shortage of phones in the audience, and the number is
called. A French-sounding operator babbles, then is cut off by a
desperate voice -- the hostage? -- saying "Find my site. A mime is
a terrible thing to waste. A terrible thing to waste."
The web address www.aterriblethingtowaste.com is typed into
browsers.
A blog subtitled 'Oswald's Journey to Mime Enlightenment' pops up.
It has only two entries by a Radio Hack employee, Oswald, who
aspires to be a clown and is looking for schools to develop his
skills in this performance art.
Curiously, some letters in the last entry have been highlighted in
red. They spell out 'youtubeoswaldthemime'.
People access YouTube and enter 'Oswald The Mime' into the search
field. Oswald, in tear-streaked clown makeup, shows up in a grainy
video taken in what seems to be a prison cell.
You can
read the rest of that entry here:
Why Transmedia Is The Next Social Media
--
pretty intriguing stuff, wonder though if we aren't getting too
carried away with it. Anyway, after tomorrow, I'll probably
have a few nuggets to report, as well as if that will affect what
we're preparing for our release, in our transmedia world ...
Jerry
March 4, 2010 -
A New Transmedia World Order
Moving on to other dimensions; cross, multi-modality and trans
media storytelling ...
First
about the film, then into what all this transmedia is about.
A while back we burned some DVD's and gave them out to a number of
people to critique how the total sound design worked in the film;
effects, dialogue, music, ambiance, the mix and levels of all
mentioned, the whole bit. We'd already done some screenings
after the picture edit, so we thought we do this with the sound.
Why, you may ask. First, we wanted to make sure everyone was
hearing it all right using different types of sound systems, so
for technical reasons. Second, we had some unique sound
design issues that pertained to the story, so for aesthetic and
story reasons. Third, we had some differing opinions among
some of our creative team concerning the score, so for aesthetic,
story and creative reasons. In all, we compiled over 100
different notes, when all was said and done. So, we went
back to the sound studio and fixed them. And because of
that, because of all of you who contributed, I think we definitely
have a better film because of it. Thanks to you all! ...
Media
worldwide is going through quite a shakeup and shakedown these
days, and not just because of the tough economic times.
Although that might have been the final catalysis, technology in
several sectors has obviously been driving it all along this path for
years. But now we've reached that point from our all-too
familiar precipice where gazing into that unknown abyss just isn't
enough any more. We, storytellers of this new world, have to
commit to not only a direction and a process, but to a
destination. So, what does that have to do with us and our
little film? ...
Transmedia
baby, that's what, transmedia. For those of you who haven't
been paying much attention to this development (and I'm one who
didn't see this soon enough, or we would have shot our film with
that in mind), this new media paradigm of cross-platforming a
story-immersed world to live in several organic directions along
different media paths, seems primed for a real growth curve.
Some of us have probably heard a bit about the cross media stories
behind the films "The Blair Witch Project", "Cloverfield", "2012",
"District 9" and "The Dark Knight", as well as the TV shows "True
Blood" and "Lost".
Well, there are plenty more coming our way, courtesy of the big
studio machine. But it's a path indies also need to
seriously consider and hopefully embrace, as some actually already
have. It may seem cost-prohibitive and time-consuming for
us, considering we do have so few dollars and so little time to
chase all those story ghosts. But after a fair amount of
research on that world, I am quite sold on it ...
Now I
don't want to go into all the history, explanations and nuances of
this new story-forming paradigm, as the true pioneers of that
world have done much better than I could have explaining it.
But if you're interested in tracking down some of that info, here
are just a few references to check out:
And as
part of our marketing and distribution plans, we are also
currently putting together a transmedia strategy to augment and
enhance our distribution opportunities. It will add so much
more to the pre-viewing and post-viewing experiences of our
audience, growing and enhancing the story way beyond the film.
How far will depend very much on far the audience wants to take
it. At that point, it will be as much their world as ours.
And that's the point, isn't it? ...
In
addition, on
the 16th of this month we will be attending an all day conference
at USC on this very subject:
Transmedia, Hollywood: S/Telling the Story - will we see you there?
...
Stay tuned
for more transmedia developments, as we create our expansive story
world where our film will live, for all to see and experience in
some unexpected ways ...
Jerry
February 22,
2010 - Last Time
An anniversary, and a new birth, exactly 38 years ago today ...
We'll just
follow this thread one last time (it does have something to do
with the film) and then get back into what's going on directly with the film, as well as delve
into the complex, muti-dimensional world of transmedia, and what that
could have to do with
"Dreams Awake." The fun is beginning all
over again ...
... What I still hadn’t
learned? ...
Back in the late winter of
’72, that path from ’58 had led me to this classroom. As the
speaker begin to wind down, I glanced back around at the
audience. Wide eyes and sitting on the edge of their seats. I
could sense most of them were as mesmerized as I was. The
atmosphere was almost surreal.
It wasn’t that the speaker was charismatic, or even
that great. Or that he instilled some kind of magical presence,
or special importance. No, it wasn’t him, or was it? It was what
he was saying, what he was trying to communicate, the surreal
experiences he’d had. And the fact he was just so normal looking
and so matter-of-fact about it all, yet expressing the wildest and
most far out things I’d ever heard. He could have been my Uncle
Ralph, but here he was describing the physical and spiritual
universe in a completely different language.
The irony
of the situation finally began to dawn on me. He spoke like a
mechanic. In fact, he viewed himself as a spiritual mechanic.
How did he put it? “Philosophers can philosophize all day, and
not have to prove a thing. Mechanics have to make things work.
They have to prove it, or they’re out of work.”
But then
the real clincher came. The hook that reeled me in. When he
mentioned the concept of the “sound current”, my interest really
piqued. That’s when he began relating to experiences I already
had, ones relating to the sound in my head. And no one else had
previously known what I was talking about.
Once I
had the chance to fire my questions away, he was not phased,
answering them so effortlessly. In fact, the way he answered made
me feel like I didn’t even know enough to ask the right questions.
So, the path seemed obvious. I was ready to make my move. Fine,
okay, prove it to me. The challenge had been put forth. And I
took it. Why not? What did I have to lose? If it didn’t work, I
could move on.
Ultimately, that day changed my life. It began the process of
re-balancing my life, and integrating my inner and outer self.
Basically getting my footing and finding my way so I could move
on.
Over the
following years the search that began as a confusing mystery
became an ongoing adventure, culminating into an expansive love
story. The mystery was in trying to figure myself out. The
adventure was the roller coaster taking me there. And the love,
well…that was what I found on the journey, and what sustained me
through the challenges and progressions of the next thirty-odd
years. I wouldn’t have missed it for the universe.
This book
is the result of putting together the experiences of myself and
many people over all those years. I hope you get some use from
it, for it is the motivation that went behind putting it
together. I wish I’d had it when I was twenty, meaning I want
this book to be what I needed at that ripe young age.
Excerpted from the Ebook
'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)
Release Date ??
Jerry
February 11,
2010 - One More Time
Another morsel beyond the pale ...
Okay,
we're going to continue with this a bit more and see where it
actually takes up. Yes, it does go somewhere ...
... Oh boy...right...
In fact, after asking the
speakers a few questions they couldn’t answer, I was beginning to
question my own sensibilities in this matter. Not only did I not
know anything, but apparently neither did they. I had no idea
then that just realizing you don’t know anything could open a
door. A huge one was yearning me to step forward and enter.
I stood in the hallway
outside the classroom, watching other students enter and sit down,
and wondering if I even should be here. Finally I peeked in the
door window. It was a good-sized auditorium, and almost full.
Curious. None of the other classes had been more than half-full.
Okay, okay. I grabbed the knob, opened the door and stepped in.
I was caught off guard by the
man standing on the elevated stage and writing on the chalkboard.
He was wearing a bright blue jumpsuit, the kind mechanics wear,
and being a little overweight, was round around the middle, and
bald with glasses. Not exactly in the normal guru-mold I’d seen
these last several weeks. So basically he was fairly
average-looking, and probably wouldn’t especially stick out in a
crowd. Unlike the previous, self-important ‘master gurus’.
As I went by the stage, I
glanced at him and we made quick eye contact. He had a slight
thin smile and a sparkle in his eyes. I sat down in a row fairly
close to the stage, and watched the room finish filling up.
For the next couple hours I
was mesmerized by what I heard from our non-guru. There was a
moment when I thought maybe I’d stumbled into the wrong room, and
was in the middle of some kind of bizarre science fiction club.
The content of the lecture was not exactly in line with what I had
been hearing recently. In fact, it was quite far out and in a
class by itself.
My life was out of balance.
The outer life I lived in this physical world didn’t coincide with
my inner life. The part of “me” inside who I believed to be me
didn’t fit with the outer one. None of it fit. I had felt from
an early age that things weren’t right. And no one else was able
to help, or even seemed to understand. The imbalance and
discontent had been growing for years, with the gap growing and
getting harder to bridge. Now I felt I was near the breaking
point. Give me relief. Give me answers. Just give me something,
damn it. I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin.
I do believe these feelings
and thoughts are nothing unusual, and certainly not unique to me.
But they were happening to me. So I was determined not to stand
for it, and to do something about it. I surely wasn’t going to go
through my life this way. Everybody said, “It’s only a stage”,
“You’ll eventually be okay”, “It’s your imagination”, “Focus on
other things”, etc., blah, blah, blah.
What was creation about? Was
life a prison term, or an extended vacation? Did we get to ride
the surf? Have any fun? Didn’t anyone possess the manual to this
planet? Or was it out of print? Were there answers, or only more
questions? Or was asking these questions only continuous, ongoing
futility?
Addressing these thoughts and
feelings seemed to be taboo. Was the world really that shallow?
I certainly was in no position to make such sweeping
generalizations, or to reach any definite conclusion. That is why
I continued to search. To find my path. My quest to understand,
and to know myself. The real me. Gad, that seemed like such a
ridiculous proclamation. Oh well, maybe I would only discover
everyone else was right. If so, fine. It would be my discovery,
and I would know and understand it. And finally learn to live
with it. Is that what everybody else did? What I still hadn’t
learned? ...
Excerpted from the Ebook
'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)
Jerry
January 31,
2010 - A Little More
Continuing on down this path ...
I've
gotten some emails recently from people asking me who wrote this
little ebook that I'm providing excerpts from. And also,
that they might want to check it out, or possibly buy it.
Well, at this point he wants to remain anonymous, so we'll leave
it at that for now. And as far as buying it, it's not quite
ready for publication. I believe it's going through some
editing right now. Sounds familiar, huh? Anyway, we'll
continue a bit longer with this, because it does relate to the
thematic material of the film. Another excerpt ...
...I didn’t feel good about having someone
else induce this, so I went no farther in this direction
...
The
next few months I read volumes of material on anything related to
this. Back then it wasn’t like today. Nowadays, you can find all
kinds of metaphysical books in most bookstores. Then you really
had to seek them out, because most bookstores didn’t carry those
types of titles.
Still, they
weren’t very satisfying. A good portion were theory and
philosophy. Some were about experiences the authors or others
had, but didn’t really say how or if those experiences were
repeatable by anyone else. What I wanted was the nuts and bolts
of this greater reality.
Anyway, I
finally figured I needed a teacher or coach of some sort. Not a
guru or master, or any other kind of devotional figure. I
couldn’t relate to the devotional aspects of many of the spiritual
paths. I needed someone readily available who had something to
offer, but wasn’t full of himself. Turns out that was a tall
order. I began attending lectures and started going to the
different spiritual centers that began cropping up around town.
Where I went to college had become a virtual hotbed of
metaphysical activity during this period. I think every type of
persuasion, philosophy or practice had some kind of chapter or
center here.
As I
explored these places and listened to more lectures, a feeling
gradually began surfacing. At first I ignored it, then I sparred
with it, until I finally realized I needed to address it. These
so-called spiritual persuasions, presenting themselves as serving
the ‘seeker’s’ needs, were only masquerading as such. Their main
purpose drove home clearly - to further the beliefs, practices and
view-opinions of their organization by indoctrinating new converts
and keeping their followers brainwashed.
So, the
bottom line for me was simple. Belief and faith were not enough.
I could not see them sustaining me. When it came right down to
it, I guess I had deeper needs. First, I needed more first-hand
experience. Second, I needed to understand what all this was
really about. Now where to?
After practically
turning over every rock searching for my place in creation, but
barely getting a whiff of it, I was growing more irritated.
Almost to the point of being desperate. By early '72, I had
almost given up when I came across this obscure ‘Cosmic
Consciousness’ class. The ad had caught my attention, so I went
for it.
I was still
learning what all this metaphysical nonsense was about. While it
had been mildly entertaining, it only made me feel emptier. The
“new age-ness” of it all turned me off, making me less receptive
to the ideas and quirkiness of this whole arena of otherworldly
concepts.
It was a 12-week class with a
different guest speaker each week, all expounding on their cosmic
theories and philosophies concerning this obscure set of
experiences we refer to as life. I had already endured 11
speakers, and was wondering why I was bothering with this last
one. But the instructors assured me this would be the best
presentation of the class, and I just shouldn’t miss it. Oh
boy...right...
Excerpted from the Ebook
'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)
Jerry
January 21,
2010 - Staying Tuned?
Moving on, farther down the path ...
So, let's
stick with this ebook excerpt for now, pick up where we left off
last time, and see what happens ...
Over the years I mostly
forgot all about it ...until ... High school. I was at a rock
concert with several of my friends, and suddenly it happened. I
became completely disassociated from my body and totally “popped”
out of it. I was floating above it, once again. I could see all
my friends in their seats, as well as myself, from a perspective
several feet above. This time though, it totally freaked me out,
as I now had more experience contemplating my mortality.
The next thing I knew I was
flying above the crowd, all around the arena. I didn’t seem to
have much control where I flew. Eventually I wound up above the
stage and could see the musicians fairly close up, really into the
performance. That’s when I realized something that just about
flipped my lid. Not only one thing, but two things.
First, everything appeared to
be moving in slow motion. The performers, the crowd, everything.
Second, I couldn’t hear anything… not a thing. Everything was
moving slowly with no sound. This was quite a mindbender. I was
having a rough time mentally and emotionally processing this, and
keeping some type of control over myself. Either I was dead, or
I’d totally flipped. I’m not exactly sure how long this lasted,
as I didn’t trust or judge my perception. And my concept of time
seemed warped at best.
But I noticed one more
thing. I started hearing some kind of background noise humming in
the background. It was similar to the noise I had heard during my
out-of-body experiences as a child. It seemed to be all around
me, as I couldn’t pinpoint its source. But I really tried not to
pay too much attention to it, as other things obviously occupied
my mind.
Eventually I wound up back
near my body. How that was accomplished, I’m not exactly sure.
And then it happened, just as abrupt as before. Before I knew it
I was right back in my body, my senses startled and overloaded as
the normal motion and sounds of the concert all came back
simultaneously. I rose and hurried from the concert arena,
struggling to find some semblance of balance and normality in my
being. This experience had shaken me up quite a bit, and it would
take me awhile to process it.
I had two similar
experiences, which I will briefly describe, before I finally
became motivated to figure out what the hell was going on. The
next time was over a year later when I was in college. One night
while driving with friends at night out in the country, we had a
flat tire. After we fixed it, we laid back out on a field,
stargazing. Suddenly I felt this pressure in my chest and a very
fast rising sensation. Also the stars became oddly distorted. I
rotated my point of view and realized I was flying high above
everyone. Once again I’d come out of my body. It seemed as
though there was no limit to how high I could have flown. That
thought is what scared me. Maybe I couldn’t get back down. That
made me look back down at my body lying in the grass, which
appeared as just a small speck. As if I was looking at an ant on
an ant bed.
Anyway, just focusing on my
body seemed to send me in that direction. And there I was, right
back in my body. I wasn’t as freaked out as the previous time,
but it still rattled me. Now what had happened here? I told my
friends about it, as I’d eventually done previously. But they
just scoffed at me, as they’d done before. They chalked it up to
my wild imagination on overdrive.
A few months later I had
another experience, but the circumstances were completely
different. A good friend knew someone who could help me figure
this out. I met her in our mutual friend’s dorm room. She said
she could help me ‘astral project’. I wasn’t sure about this, but
I decided to experiment. She had me lie down on the bed, face up,
while she stood next to the bed over me. I wasn’t ready for what
happened next.
She went into a meditative
trance, then started going through some kind of ritualistic
chanting and moving her hands in odd motions several inches over
my body. This was making me tense, and she sensed it. She
explained that I needed to be very relaxed, and to breathe slowly
with focus.
To help relax me, she gave me
some relaxation exercises and helped me though a ‘guided
meditation’. In essence what did happen is she got me out of my
body. I could tell she knew I was out, but as she glanced around
the room, she couldn’t tell where I was. I seemed to have more
control of the direction I wanted to ‘fly’ in. I was only out a
few minutes before I lost control and was back in my body. I
didn’t feel good about having someone else induce this, so I went
no farther in this direction
...
Excerpted from the Ebook
'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)
Jerry
January 11,
2010 - A Different Kinda New Year
An
alternative path and direction, diving deeper, flying higher ...
Awhile
back I mentioned that we would start discussing some of the issues
the film "Dreams Awake" brings up, touches upon and digs
into a bit, but doesn't really explore very widely or deeply.
Obviously in a storytelling visual medium that is confined by a
90-120 minute timeframe, it's a bit difficult to do so.
Well, we are going to attempt that right here. Of course,
we'll keep you informed about the goings-on with the film as well,
but we'll also explore this other direction more frequently.
We're going to start by telling you a true story that happened quite
a while back. Actually, over 50 years ago ...
I was
floating above my body. What had happened? Was I dead? Oh, no.
How could that be? I was only six, almost seven. Sheesh, it
wasn’t fair. I was just starting to get used to being here… and
becoming aware of myself.
It was
late 1958. I was sick. Deathly. Or so it seemed. As my mother
sat by my bed to comfort me, I watched her curiously. But not
from my body, but above it and across the room in the far corner.
I was oddly detached, not exactly sure what the hell was going on.
Just
moments before I had felt horrible. The pressure in my head had
been almost unbearable. I thought it was going to burst, to the
point that everything seemed warped and distorted, the room and
all the sounds in it. Then I felt myself being pulled, as if
caught in a vortex, spinning out from my body. Now here I was,
floating above it, but I sure felt a lot better. Consequently, I
wasn’t anxious to return. As if I had any control of the
situation.
Now I
think death to a six-year-old doesn’t seem very real. At least I
remembered thinking how ridiculous the concept seemed to me. I
just couldn’t understand how you existed and then you didn’t.
So, was I
dead? An answer came quickly. Before I knew it, I was back in my
body. And I felt like crap again, with a very high fever and
vomiting quite a bit. Was I dying, or hallucinating? Or just
going crazy?
Over the
next several months, I was sick several more times. And I had
more out-of-body experiences. In the beginning I had been afraid,
but the fear dissipated as I got used to it.
The
experiences became more intense, filled with other elements. At
that age I wasn’t too sure what I believed or didn’t believe. But
I saw my first ‘ghost’. At least that’s what I called it. I had
the feeling these ‘ghosts’ or entities were not too friendly. I
had spotted a couple around when I was out of my body. They
mostly seemed like dark, contorted and formless blotches of some
kind. Whoever or whatever they were, I just got the feeling they
were up to no good. I tried not to pay attention to them.
Another
element was my out-of-control vision. It seemed to telescope and
microscope between a close, fish-eye view and a faraway,
wide-angle view. It made it hard to orient myself in the room.
As I floated around aimlessly, I kept trying to focus and adjust
my vision. Also the colors seemed dark and low contrast, making
it even harder to zero in on everything.
An
additional element was the pervasive sound that seemed
everywhere. Sometimes it was like a continuous ringing. Other
times like hundreds of chirping crickets carrying on. I couldn’t
tell what was causing it, only that it was always all around me.
Sometimes it was unnerving. Most of the time I just tried to
ignore it.
Then
something different happened in my last two experiences, before
they stopped all together. While floating around the room I
spotted a little girl who seemed about my age. She was floating
like me. The first time she just faded in and out, and then was
gone. The second time she seemed to be trying to communicate with
me. I’m not sure if I really got the complete message, but she
seemed to be telling me not to go. Go where? And also that there
were things to do in this world. I really had no idea what she
meant. But this did mark a change. The experiences stopped. A
couple months later my family moved from the midwest to the south.
For about
the next year I had a hard time sleeping. As I laid on my pillow
at night, the ringing in my head was deafening and very hard to
ignore. It was the same pervasive sound I had heard during my
out-of-body experiences. I realized trying to ignore it only made
it harder to ignore. It demanded to be listened to. Over time I
learned fighting it didn’t work. Eventually, I just listened and
relaxed into it. After awhile it seemed to dissipate and my
sleeping returned to normal. Over the years I mostly forgot all
about it ...until ...
Excerpted from the Ebook
'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)
