Indie Film Blog

                                                 One Vision's Long Journey into Reality

  

A diary of my arduous process to develop, finance, produce and distribute a totally independent, digital, feature film (DREAMS AWAKE).  Come along for the ride, comment if you like, and maybe we’ll learn something, and of course have a little fun.  Originally I gave myself from March 15, 2005 to September 15, 2006 to turn my dream and vision into reality, with only my imagination to guide me.  Since we all know film development can be unpredictable and full of unanticipated obstacles, a self-imposed deadline should not jeopardize the project's quality.  My new timeline was more flexible and production finally commenced in July, 2007 when the script was where it needed to be in order to tell an engaging and original story.  Check in regularly for the ongoing progress.   We wrapped in September 2007, and in early 2010 finished up from a prolonged post-production period.  We are looking forward to a fall 2010 release ...  Jerry Alden Deal

     

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April 28, 2010 - Legacies

Passing through the sands of time, testing the fortunes of relevancy ...

This Sunday we went to the TCM Film Festival in Hollywood and got to see 'Some Like It Hot' on the big screen at the Egyptian Theater.  What a treat that really was.  But the icing on the cake was the appearance by Tony Curtis, who is now in his mid-80's.  Before the screening he told the audience several funny stories about the making of the film.  And boy does that film still hold up.  He stayed and watched the film with the rest of us, actually sitting not too far from us.  We glanced over a few times to see him laughing his head off, still amused by what he and his fellow crafts people had created more about 50 years ago.  When the film was over he stood to a standing ovation, and you could barely make out his final words before his exit.  But he sadly quipped "I'm the only one still left."  Very poignant, but I'm sure this film's legacy will remain quite intact ...

          

That got me to wondering about what, if any, kind of legacy our little film could have.  Of course, my very next thought was, what a silly thought.  At the very least, I would like to think a few people enjoyed it and got something out of it.  But at this point that's way too premature to get all worked up about.  Yet, we can always hope, right? ...

(Debbie, Eric & Michael)

Today also is a very poignant personal reminder for me.  Exactly ten years ago today, Debra Lynn Deal, my wife of seventeen years passed away after a four-year battle with cancer.  She left behind two sons, Michael and Eric, who were 16 and 12 when she passed, and who have now grown into adulthood.  All the years I struggled as a screenwriter trying to make it in that world, she was an undying supporter for all that I was trying to do.  She sacrificed for me during those hard years and I know she would have been very proud of the film we have created and which she will never get to see (but maybe she'll peek in from the other side).  Also, both my sons had a hand in the film; Eric worked on the production and Michael advised me on the effects shots.  And so, I've decided to dedicate the film to her, not just because of her unwavering support over the years, but also because of the thematic content of the film.  Once you've seen it, you'll understand.  I guess in a way that will be a part of the Dreams Awake legacy ...

Jerry

 

April 17, 2010 - The Release

So, when is the film coming out? ...

That is the most common, most regular question that gets thrown my way nowadays.  In fact, many times it's how the conversation starts when I first see someone, or when someone emails me, or Facebook's me, or tweets, or whatever other new-techie verb that we can throw out these days.  Now, it's quite obvious that getting this film out has taken longer than I certainly ever envisioned.  And you could maybe make the case that it should not have taken this long.  But, based on what?  Other films?  Well, here's a news flash.  Every film is different, especially in the indie world.  Would I have preferred it be ready sooner?  You betcha.  But am I concerned, or worried because it hasn't?  No way.  Our little film will find it's way into the world however it sees fit.  And you know what, I'm perfectly happy with that.  I think when the time is right, it will appear for everyone who wants it.  OK? ...

But, here's a couple more morsels to chew on, because I know some of you are ready to see it.  And believe me, we're very happy about that.  I feel really humbled that someone would want to see something we created.  And no matter how they feel afterwards; loving it, liking it, hating it, indifferent to it.  Not a problem at all.  All of us filmmakers, all of us creative people, all get that part of it.  It comes with that territory.  Would I like it if everyone just loved it to death (well, not to death, but to life maybe?).  Absolutely.  That would tickle us all, but highly unlikely.  Not that we don't think it's a good film, but it will not be everyone's cup of tea.  Plus, in a way we're all critics of some sort, right?  Maybe not harsh ones, but quiet ones within the whispers of our own minds.  Which brings me to closer to the thematic content of the film itself ...

New consciousness, alternative spirituality, metaphysical thought, new age mysticism, spiritual cinema.  All of these terms have been thrown about to describe what out film encompasses.  But for me, all that does is pigeonhole it into too narrow and specific of a category.  Which may be okay for the marketing geeks, but us filmmakers like to deal with the more endearing commonality of human endeavor and experience.  Do we push that envelope of commonality into the spiritual realms?  Of course we do.  We can all wish and hope for better things, right?  But essentially, "Dreams Awake" is about a transformative journey, a way to find inner courage and deal with old emotional baggage.  We may try to reach for the stars within this story, but our feet start the journey from the ground.  So, maybe there is a reason the main character is named, Hope? ...

And yes, the film will be released sometime this year.  Stay tuned for more details ... maybe when 'Hope' finally finds its way ...

Jerry

 

April 6, 2010 - Transmedia Examples

Some intriguing forays into the realm ...

I thought I'd continue onward with the Transmedia theme I've been chiming lately, and offer up a few examples of these types of movie campaigns:

2012
     Institute for Human Continuity -- An alternative reality world about insuring the survival of the human race after the supposed 2012 catastrophe.  Also, Facebook Page, Twitter & YouTube
Farewell Atlantis -- A book written by main character Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), used to underline part of philosophical theme of the film.  Also, Facebook Page.
This is the End -- Conspiracy guy Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) has a platform to spout all his conspiracy theories. Also, Facebook Page, Twitter & YouTube
News Done Right -- A news organization covering events leading up to the 2012 disaster.

District 9
Multi-National United (MNU) -- A large corporate entity, supposedly benign, that may have questionable motive towards non-humans.  Also, Facebook Page & Twitter.
The Game -- For both humans and non-humans.
MNU Spreads Lies -- An anti-MNU, non-human rights organization. Also Facebook Page & Twitter.

The Dark Knight
Why So Serious -- A hodgepodge of Joker-mania.  Also, 42 Entertainment's Viral Campaign
Concerned Citizens for a better Gotham -- A group trying to bring down prosecutor Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart).
I Believe in Harvey Dent -- Harvey Dent's political campaign for District Attorney of Gotham City.  Also, his Campaign Blog, MySpace Page & YouTube Video.
Clown Travel Agency -- Joker antics.
Gotham Police Major Crimes Unit -- More Joker antics.
Gotham Times -- Gotham City online newspaper.

True Blood
Revelation -- YouTube video about the whole original campaign
Bloodcopy -- Vampire news with a bite.  Also, Twitter Page.
American Vampire League -- Protecting rights for vampires.
Fellowship of the Sun -- An anti-vampire group trying to preserve the purity of humans.  Also, Facebook Page & YouTube Video.
Tru Beverage -- A truly bloody beverage for vampires.
Love Bitten -- Social networking site for vampires (sorry, now down)

Lost
The Lost Experience -- Interactive online game.  Also, YouTube Video of campaign.
Hanso Foundation -- The corporation behind the Dharma Initiative.
Lost University -- For students wanting to graduate from a different kind of college.
Dharma Initiative Orientation Kit -- Get it on Amazon.
Dharma Wants You -- Part of the history of the Dharma Initiative.
Lost: Via Domus -- The video game.
Lostpedia -- A wiki for all things 'Lost'.

These are just a few examples of what can be done, and they keep piling up as more filmmakers are becoming aware of the potentials out there for their creative material.  And I think we've  just touched the surface of what can be done (isn't that obvious?).  Very exciting stuff! ...

Jerry

 

March 25, 2010 - Why Transmedia?

A new wave a blowing ...

First, here's a short, hodge-podge clip of the Transmedia event I attended at USC last week:

 

There was a lot info thrown out at everyone from the four panels that took place.  I could offer a few words, but I think some others have done the job quite well:

DIY Sucks
Transmedia for indie filmmakers I: Transmedia 101, ARGs and more

"Transmedia describes the way some fictional universes play out over a wide range of stories (and games) in different media" ... (for the rest go to here)

Pandora's Box
Transmedia, Hollywood: S/Telling the Story (Part One)

"Yesterday I attended Transmedia, Hollywood: S/Telling the Story conference organized by Henry Jenkins, who recently moved from the east coast (MIT, Comparative Media Studies) to the west coast (USC, School of Cinematic Arts) and Denise Mann who is currently at the School of Theatre, Film, and Television in UCLA" ... (for the rest go here  -- also, there are four parts to this)

Bloom's Day
Who's Going to Grump about Transmedia?

"Yes, it appears that pigs can take at least short domestic flights, and Hell is facing some moderate climate change" ... (for the rest go here)

And along with that a follow up article from CNET.  For more info search #TransH on twitter.

Now, the big question coming out of all this for us is, 'why even bother with all this transmedia stuff?'  Indeed, indeed.  That begs the question ever farther, 'do we even have a transmeda property?'  It certainly would have been much easier if we had conceived it as such when we developed it.  But as I've said before, this avenue wasn't really on our radar screen until after production.  It was only as we were forging through post that it gravitated our attention span.  And now it has our full attention, and we intend to use it any way that works for this particular story.  Here is how transmedia can help us ...

     1) Filling story holes.  Our film very easily could have been a novel.  There is certainly plenty of material to have expanded it into such.  We cut a lot out of the film to make it a film, instead of a 3-hour monstrosity.  But now, we can use other platforms to enhance and fill out our whole story world.  Thus making it 'more complete'.

     2) Growing the story.  And thus its world.  By adding elements mentioned above, we can also grow the story beyond the original film.  We can build the back-story and post-story, not only for the main characters, but the minor ones.  As well, we can expand on ideas and concepts only mentioned in the film, and take it as far as it can grow.

     3) Prequels & Sequels. We originally conceived this film as part of a trilogy, "The Awaken Trilogy", of which 'Dreams Awake' was just the full installment.  We can now develop the other pieces of the trilogy on other platforms, either before we shoot the other films, or just leave them on these different platforms.

     4) Fan Engagement.  Great opportunity for the fans to carry the story forward and have a hand in how it all plays out.  In fact, their input could help in developing the stories for the sequels and what platforms they live on.  More power to the audience.

     5) Marketing Awareness.  Having multiple entry points into this story-world allows us build more of an awareness than we would have been able to with another 'indie film' trying to find it's way, and it's audience, in this cluttered world.  We will be searching for a more complete home for our audience to find and interact with us.

These are just some of the ways Transmedia, Cross Media, Multi-platform Storytelling, or whatever you want to call it, can help "Dreams Awake" take deep breaths and fully realize itself in whatever worlds our audience lives and grows in.  This year "Dreams Awake" plans to shake off the dreams, fully wake up and begin to live more completely in as many worlds as can handle it.  Should be fun and exciting! ...

Jerry

 

March 15, 2010 - Yours Truly

Five years and counting ...

Today is quite an anniversary for me, and our new film.  Yup, it's been five years ago today (wow, 2005!) that I started this little blog, as we're on the final precipice before releasing "Dreams Awake".  I certainly never thought I'd be writing this blog for this long.  Never, ever...but here I am, still.  So, I thought it appropriate that I embed my two-part interview that was recently posted on Facebook ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

On another front I'll be heading over to that Transmedia Event at USC tomorrow.  Should be fun and enlightening.  To underline all this Transmedia talk, here is a thought-provoking blog entry that was posted today, right after a Transmedia session at SWSX, happening in Austin right now:

Room 5ABC, Austin Convention Center, Texas. A speaker passes a plastic box to a lady in the front row. 

She pries open the box. Inside is a rag that looks blood-stained, spelling out a website address.


Audience members with laptops type the URL into their browsers. On the site are clues that hint at a kidnapping and a phone number.


There is no shortage of phones in the audience, and the number is called. A French-sounding operator babbles, then is cut off by a desperate voice -- the hostage? -- saying "Find my site. A mime is a terrible thing to waste. A terrible thing to waste."


The web address www.aterriblethingtowaste.com is typed into browsers.


A blog subtitled 'Oswald's Journey to Mime Enlightenment' pops up. It has only two entries by a Radio Hack employee, Oswald, who aspires to be a clown and is looking for schools to develop his skills in this performance art.


Curiously, some letters in the last entry have been highlighted in red. They spell out 'youtubeoswaldthemime'.


People access YouTube and enter 'Oswald The Mime' into the search field. Oswald, in tear-streaked clown makeup, shows up in a grainy video taken in what seems to be a prison cell.

You can read the rest of that entry here: Why Transmedia Is The Next Social Media -- pretty intriguing stuff, wonder though if we aren't getting too carried away with it.  Anyway, after tomorrow, I'll probably have a few nuggets to report, as well as if that will affect what we're preparing for our release, in our transmedia world ...

Jerry

March 4, 2010 - A New Transmedia World Order

Moving on to other dimensions; cross, multi-modality and trans media storytelling ...

First about the film, then into what all this transmedia is about.  A while back we burned some DVD's and gave them out to a number of people to critique how the total sound design worked in the film; effects, dialogue, music, ambiance, the mix and levels of all mentioned, the whole bit.  We'd already done some screenings after the picture edit, so we thought we do this with the sound.  Why, you may ask.  First, we wanted to make sure everyone was hearing it all right using different types of sound systems, so for technical reasons.  Second, we had some unique sound design issues that pertained to the story, so for aesthetic and story reasons.  Third, we had some differing opinions among some of our creative team concerning the score, so for aesthetic, story and creative reasons.  In all, we compiled over 100 different notes, when all was said and done.  So, we went back to the sound studio and fixed them.  And because of that, because of all of you who contributed, I think we definitely have a better film because of it.  Thanks to you all! ...

Media worldwide is going through quite a shakeup and shakedown these days, and not just because of the tough economic times.  Although that might have been the final catalysis, technology in several sectors has obviously been driving it all along this path for years.  But now we've reached that point from our all-too familiar precipice where gazing into that unknown abyss just isn't enough any more.  We, storytellers of this new world, have to commit to not only a direction and a process, but to a destination.  So, what does that have to do with us and our little film? ...

Transmedia baby, that's what, transmedia.  For those of you who haven't been paying much attention to this development (and I'm one who didn't see this soon enough, or we would have shot our film with that in mind), this new media paradigm of cross-platforming a story-immersed world to live in several organic directions along different media paths, seems primed for a real growth curve.  Some of us have probably heard a bit about the cross media stories behind the films "The Blair Witch Project", "Cloverfield", "2012", "District 9" and "The Dark Knight", as well as the TV shows "True Blood" and "Lost".  Well, there are plenty more coming our way, courtesy of the big studio machine.  But it's a path indies also need to seriously consider and hopefully embrace, as some actually already have.  It may seem cost-prohibitive and time-consuming for us, considering we do have so few dollars and so little time to chase all those story ghosts.  But after a fair amount of research on that world, I am quite sold on it ...

Now I don't want to go into all the history, explanations and nuances of this new story-forming paradigm, as the true pioneers of that world have done much better than I could have explaining it.  But if you're interested in tracking down some of that info, here are just a few references to check out:

    http://henryjenkins.org/

     http://www.starlightrunner.com/

     http://www.worldscreen.com/articles/display/24596

     http://www.flickr.com/photos/bud_caddell/4186330101/sizes/o/

     http://vimeo.com/8842277

     http://culturehacker.workbookproject.com/2009/10/collaborative-transmedia-storytelling/

     http://culturehacker.workbookproject.com/2009/12/moving-filmmakers-to-a-transmedia-business-model/

     http://narrativedesign.org/2010/01/creators-of-transmedia-stories%e2%84%a2-4-john-johnson/

     http://narrativedesign.org/2009/09/creators-of-transmedia-stories-3-jeff-gomez/

     http://zenfilms.typepad.com/zen_films/2010/03/developing-a-transmedia-project-my-approach-part-1.html

And as part of our marketing and distribution plans, we are also currently putting together a transmedia strategy to augment and enhance our distribution opportunities.  It will add so much more to the pre-viewing and post-viewing experiences of our audience, growing and enhancing the story way beyond the film.  How far will depend very much on far the audience wants to take it.  At that point, it will be as much their world as ours.  And that's the point, isn't it? ...

In addition, on the 16th of this month we will be attending an all day conference at USC on this very subject: Transmedia, Hollywood: S/Telling the Story - will we see you there? ...

Stay tuned for more transmedia developments, as we create our expansive story world where our film will live, for all to see and experience in some unexpected ways ...

Jerry

 

February 22, 2010 - Last Time

An anniversary, and a new birth, exactly 38 years ago today ...

We'll just follow this thread one last time (it does have something to do with the film) and then get back into what's going on directly with the film, as well as delve into the complex, muti-dimensional world of transmedia, and what that could have to do with "Dreams Awake."  The fun is beginning all over again ...

... What I still hadn’t learned? ...

Back in the late winter of ’72, that path from ’58 had led me to this classroom.  As the speaker begin to wind down, I glanced back around at the audience.  Wide eyes and sitting on the edge of their seats.  I could sense most of them were as mesmerized as I was.  The atmosphere was almost surreal.

It wasn’t that the speaker was charismatic, or even that great.  Or that he instilled some kind of magical presence, or special importance.  No, it wasn’t him, or was it?  It was what he was saying, what he was trying to communicate, the surreal experiences he’d had.  And the fact he was just so normal looking and so matter-of-fact about it all, yet expressing the wildest and most far out things I’d ever heard.  He could have been my Uncle Ralph, but here he was describing the physical and spiritual universe in a completely different language.

The irony of the situation finally began to dawn on me.  He spoke like a mechanic.  In fact, he viewed himself as a spiritual mechanic.  How did he put it?  “Philosophers can philosophize all day, and not have to prove a thing.  Mechanics have to make things work.  They have to prove it, or they’re out of work.”

But then the real clincher came.  The hook that reeled me in.  When he mentioned the concept of the “sound current”, my interest really piqued.  That’s when he began relating to experiences I already had, ones relating to the sound in my head.  And no one else had previously known what I was talking about.

Once I had the chance to fire my questions away, he was not phased, answering them so effortlessly.  In fact, the way he answered made me feel like I didn’t even know enough to ask the right questions.  So, the path seemed obvious.  I was ready to make my move.  Fine, okay, prove it to me.  The challenge had been put forth.  And I took it.  Why not?  What did I have to lose?  If it didn’t work, I could move on.

Ultimately, that day changed my life.  It began the process of re-balancing my life, and integrating my inner and outer self.  Basically getting my footing and finding my way so I could move on.

Over the following years the search that began as a confusing mystery became an ongoing adventure, culminating into an expansive love story.  The mystery was in trying to figure myself out.  The adventure was the roller coaster taking me there.  And the love, well…that was what I found on the journey, and what sustained me through the challenges and progressions of the next thirty-odd years.  I wouldn’t have missed it for the universe.

This book is the result of putting together the experiences of myself and many people over all those years.  I hope you get some use from it, for it is the motivation that went behind putting it together.  I wish I’d had it when I was twenty, meaning I want this book to be what I needed at that ripe young age.

Excerpted from the Ebook 'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)
Release Date ??

Jerry

 

February 11, 2010 - One More Time

Another morsel beyond the pale ...

Okay, we're going to continue with this a bit more and see where it actually takes up.  Yes, it does go somewhere ...

... Oh boy...right...

In fact, after asking the speakers a few questions they couldn’t answer, I was beginning to question my own sensibilities in this matter.  Not only did I not know anything, but apparently neither did they.  I had no idea then that just realizing you don’t know anything could open a door.  A huge one was yearning me to step forward and enter.

I stood in the hallway outside the classroom, watching other students enter and sit down, and wondering if I even should be here.  Finally I peeked in the door window.  It was a good-sized auditorium, and almost full.  Curious.  None of the other classes had been more than half-full.  Okay, okay.  I grabbed the knob, opened the door and stepped in.

I was caught off guard by the man standing on the elevated stage and writing on the chalkboard.  He was wearing a bright blue jumpsuit, the kind mechanics wear, and being a little overweight, was round around the middle, and bald with glasses.  Not exactly in the normal guru-mold I’d seen these last several weeks.  So basically he was fairly average-looking, and probably wouldn’t especially stick out in a crowd.  Unlike the previous, self-important ‘master gurus’.

As I went by the stage, I glanced at him and we made quick eye contact.  He had a slight thin smile and a sparkle in his eyes.  I sat down in a row fairly close to the stage, and watched the room finish filling up.

For the next couple hours I was mesmerized by what I heard from our non-guru.  There was a moment when I thought maybe I’d stumbled into the wrong room, and was in the middle of some kind of bizarre science fiction club.  The content of the lecture was not exactly in line with what I had been hearing recently.  In fact, it was quite far out and in a class by itself.

My life was out of balance.  The outer life I lived in this physical world didn’t coincide with my inner life.  The part of “me” inside who I believed to be me didn’t fit with the outer one.  None of it fit.  I had felt from an early age that things weren’t right.  And no one else was able to help, or even seemed to understand.  The imbalance and discontent had been growing for years, with the gap growing and getting harder to bridge.  Now I felt I was near the breaking point.  Give me relief.  Give me answers.  Just give me something, damn it.  I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin.

I do believe these feelings and thoughts are nothing unusual, and certainly not unique to me.  But they were happening to me.  So I was determined not to stand for it, and to do something about it.  I surely wasn’t going to go through my life this way.  Everybody said, “It’s only a stage”, “You’ll eventually be okay”, “It’s your imagination”, “Focus on other things”, etc., blah, blah, blah.

What was creation about?  Was life a prison term, or an extended vacation?  Did we get to ride the surf?  Have any fun?  Didn’t anyone possess the manual to this planet?  Or was it out of print?  Were there answers, or only more questions?  Or was asking these questions only continuous, ongoing futility?

Addressing these thoughts and feelings seemed to be taboo.  Was the world really that shallow?  I certainly was in no position to make such sweeping generalizations, or to reach any definite conclusion.  That is why I continued to search.  To find my path.  My quest to understand, and to know myself.  The real me.  Gad, that seemed like such a ridiculous proclamation.  Oh well, maybe I would only discover everyone else was right.  If so, fine.  It would be my discovery, and I would know and understand it.  And finally learn to live with it.  Is that what everybody else did?  What I still hadn’t learned? ...

Excerpted from the Ebook 'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)

Jerry

 

January 31, 2010 - A Little More

Continuing on down this path ...

I've gotten some emails recently from people asking me who wrote this little ebook that I'm providing excerpts from.  And also, that they might want to check it out, or possibly buy it.  Well, at this point he wants to remain anonymous, so we'll leave it at that for now.  And as far as buying it, it's not quite ready for publication.  I believe it's going through some editing right now.  Sounds familiar, huh?  Anyway, we'll continue a bit longer with this, because it does relate to the thematic material of the film.  Another excerpt ...

...I didn’t feel good about having someone else induce this, so I went no farther in this direction ...

The next few months I read volumes of material on anything related to this.  Back then it wasn’t like today.  Nowadays, you can find all kinds of metaphysical books in most bookstores.  Then you really had to seek them out, because most bookstores didn’t carry those types of titles.

Still, they weren’t very satisfying.  A good portion were theory and philosophy.  Some were about experiences the authors or others had, but didn’t really say how or if those experiences were repeatable by anyone else.  What I wanted was the nuts and bolts of this greater reality.

Anyway, I finally figured I needed a teacher or coach of some sort.  Not a guru or master, or any other kind of devotional figure.  I couldn’t relate to the devotional aspects of many of the spiritual paths.  I needed someone readily available who had something to offer, but wasn’t full of himself.  Turns out that was a tall order.  I began attending lectures and started going to the different spiritual centers that began cropping up around town.  Where I went to college had become a virtual hotbed of metaphysical activity during this period.  I think every type of persuasion, philosophy or practice had some kind of chapter or center here.

As I explored these places and listened to more lectures, a feeling gradually began surfacing.  At first I ignored it, then I sparred with it, until I finally realized I needed to address it.  These so-called spiritual persuasions, presenting themselves as serving the ‘seeker’s’ needs, were only masquerading as such.  Their main purpose drove home clearly - to further the beliefs, practices and view-opinions of their organization by indoctrinating new converts and keeping their followers brainwashed.

So, the bottom line for me was simple.  Belief and faith were not enough.  I could not see them sustaining me.  When it came right down to it, I guess I had deeper needs.  First, I needed more first-hand experience.  Second, I needed to understand what all this was really about.  Now where to?

After practically turning over every rock searching for my place in creation, but barely getting a whiff of it, I was growing more irritated.  Almost to the point of being desperate.  By early '72, I had almost given up when I came across this obscure ‘Cosmic Consciousness’ class.  The ad had caught my attention, so I went for it.

I was still learning what all this metaphysical nonsense was about.  While it had been mildly entertaining, it only made me feel emptier.  The “new age-ness” of it all turned me off, making me less receptive to the ideas and quirkiness of this whole arena of otherworldly concepts.

It was a 12-week class with a different guest speaker each week, all expounding on their cosmic theories and philosophies concerning this obscure set of experiences we refer to as life.  I had already endured 11 speakers, and was wondering why I was bothering with this last one.  But the instructors assured me this would be the best presentation of the class, and I just shouldn’t miss it.  Oh boy...right...

Excerpted from the Ebook 'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)

Jerry

 

January 21, 2010 - Staying Tuned?

Moving on, farther down the path ...

So, let's stick with this ebook excerpt for now, pick up where we left off last time, and see what happens ...

Over the years I mostly forgot all about it ...until ... High school. I was at a rock concert with several of my friends, and suddenly it happened.  I became completely disassociated from my body and totally “popped” out of it.  I was floating above it, once again.  I could see all my friends in their seats, as well as myself, from a perspective several feet above.  This time though, it totally freaked me out, as I now had more experience contemplating my mortality.

The next thing I knew I was flying above the crowd, all around the arena.  I didn’t seem to have much control where I flew.  Eventually I wound up above the stage and could see the musicians fairly close up, really into the performance.  That’s when I realized something that just about flipped my lid.  Not only one thing, but two things.

First, everything appeared to be moving in slow motion.  The performers, the crowd, everything.  Second, I couldn’t hear anything… not a thing.  Everything was moving slowly with no sound.  This was quite a mindbender.  I was having a rough time mentally and emotionally processing this, and keeping some type of control over myself.  Either I was dead, or I’d totally flipped.  I’m not exactly sure how long this lasted, as I didn’t trust or judge my perception.  And my concept of time seemed warped at best.

But I noticed one more thing.  I started hearing some kind of background noise humming in the background.  It was similar to the noise I had heard during my out-of-body experiences as a child.  It seemed to be all around me, as I couldn’t pinpoint its source.  But I really tried not to pay too much attention to it, as other things obviously occupied my mind.

Eventually I wound up back near my body.  How that was accomplished, I’m not exactly sure.  And then it happened, just as abrupt as before.  Before I knew it I was right back in my body, my senses startled and overloaded as the normal motion and sounds of the concert all came back simultaneously.  I rose and hurried from the concert arena, struggling to find some semblance of balance and normality in my being.  This experience had shaken me up quite a bit, and it would take me awhile to process it.

I had two similar experiences, which I will briefly describe, before I finally became motivated to figure out what the hell was going on.  The next time was over a year later when I was in college.  One night while driving with friends at night out in the country, we had a flat tire.  After we fixed it, we laid back out on a field, stargazing.  Suddenly I felt this pressure in my chest and a very fast rising sensation.  Also the stars became oddly distorted.  I rotated my point of view and realized I was flying high above everyone.  Once again I’d come out of my body.  It seemed as though there was no limit to how high I could have flown.  That thought is what scared me.  Maybe I couldn’t get back down.  That made me look back down at my body lying in the grass, which appeared as just a small speck.  As if I was looking at an ant on an ant bed.

Anyway, just focusing on my body seemed to send me in that direction.  And there I was, right back in my body.  I wasn’t as freaked out as the previous time, but it still rattled me.  Now what had happened here?  I told my friends about it, as I’d eventually done previously.  But they just scoffed at me, as they’d done before.  They chalked it up to my wild imagination on overdrive.

A few months later I had another experience, but the circumstances were completely different.  A good friend knew someone who could help me figure this out.  I met her in our mutual friend’s dorm room.  She said she could help me ‘astral project’.  I wasn’t sure about this, but I decided to experiment.  She had me lie down on the bed, face up, while she stood next to the bed over me.   I wasn’t ready for what happened next.

She went into a meditative trance, then started going through some kind of ritualistic chanting and moving her hands in odd motions several inches over my body.  This was making me tense, and she sensed it.  She explained that I needed to be very relaxed, and to breathe slowly with focus.

To help relax me, she gave me some relaxation exercises and helped me though a ‘guided meditation’.  In essence what did happen is she got me out of my body.  I could tell she knew I was out, but as she glanced around the room, she couldn’t tell where I was.  I seemed to have more control of the direction I wanted to ‘fly’ in.  I was only out a few minutes before I lost control and was back in my body.  I didn’t feel good about having someone else induce this, so I went no farther in this direction ...

Excerpted from the Ebook 'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)

Jerry

 

January 11, 2010 - A Different Kinda New Year

An alternative path and direction, diving deeper, flying higher ...

Awhile back I mentioned that we would start discussing some of the issues the film "Dreams Awake" brings up, touches upon and digs into a bit, but doesn't really explore very widely or deeply.  Obviously in a storytelling visual medium that is confined by a 90-120 minute timeframe, it's a bit difficult to do so.  Well, we are going to attempt that right here.  Of course, we'll keep you informed about the goings-on with the film as well, but we'll also explore this other direction more frequently.  We're going to start by telling you a true story that happened quite a while back.  Actually, over 50 years ago ...

I was floating above my body.  What had happened?  Was I dead?  Oh, no.  How could that be?  I was only six, almost seven.  Sheesh, it wasn’t fair.  I was just starting to get used to being here… and becoming aware of myself.

It was late 1958.  I was sick.  Deathly.  Or so it seemed.  As my mother sat by my bed to comfort me, I watched her curiously.  But not from my body, but above it and across the room in the far corner.  I was oddly detached, not exactly sure what the hell was going on.

Just moments before I had felt horrible.  The pressure in my head had been almost unbearable.  I thought it was going to burst, to the point that everything seemed warped and distorted, the room and all the sounds in it.  Then I felt myself being pulled, as if caught in a vortex, spinning out from my body.  Now here I was, floating above it, but I sure felt a lot better.  Consequently, I wasn’t anxious to return.  As if I had any control of the situation.

Now I think death to a six-year-old doesn’t seem very real.  At least I remembered thinking how ridiculous the concept seemed to me.  I just couldn’t understand how you existed and then you didn’t.

So, was I dead?  An answer came quickly.  Before I knew it, I was back in my body.  And I felt like crap again, with a very high fever and vomiting quite a bit.  Was I dying, or hallucinating?  Or just going crazy?

Over the next several months, I was sick several more times.  And I had more out-of-body experiences.  In the beginning I had been afraid, but the fear dissipated as I got used to it.

The experiences became more intense, filled with other elements.  At that age I wasn’t too sure what I believed or didn’t believe.  But I saw my first ‘ghost’.  At least that’s what I called it.  I had the feeling these ‘ghosts’ or entities were not too friendly.  I had spotted a couple around when I was out of my body.  They mostly seemed like dark, contorted and formless blotches of some kind.  Whoever or whatever they were, I just got the feeling they were up to no good.  I tried not to pay attention to them.

Another element was my out-of-control vision.  It seemed to telescope and microscope between a close, fish-eye view and a faraway, wide-angle view.  It made it hard to orient myself in the room.  As I floated around aimlessly, I kept trying to focus and adjust my vision.  Also the colors seemed dark and low contrast, making it even harder to zero in on everything.

An additional element was the pervasive sound that seemed everywhere.  Sometimes it was like a continuous ringing.  Other times like hundreds of chirping crickets carrying on.  I couldn’t tell what was causing it, only that it was always all around me.  Sometimes it was unnerving.  Most of the time I just tried to ignore it.

Then something different happened in my last two experiences, before they stopped all together.  While floating around the room I spotted a little girl who seemed about my age.  She was floating like me.  The first time she just faded in and out, and then was gone.  The second time she seemed to be trying to communicate with me.  I’m not sure if I really got the complete message, but she seemed to be telling me not to go.  Go where?  And also that there were things to do in this world.  I really had no idea what she meant.  But this did mark a change.  The experiences stopped.  A couple months later my family moved from the midwest to the south.

For about the next year I had a hard time sleeping.  As I laid on my pillow at night, the ringing in my head was deafening and very hard to ignore.  It was the same pervasive sound I had heard during my out-of-body experiences.  I realized trying to ignore it only made it harder to ignore.  It demanded to be listened to.  Over time I learned fighting it didn’t work.  Eventually, I just listened and relaxed into it.  After awhile it seemed to dissipate and my sleeping returned to normal.  Over the years I mostly forgot all about it ...until ...

Excerpted from the Ebook 'Finding Daylight'
(Used with permission of the author)

Jerry

 

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